Okay, so, yesterday was NOT a good day for me. I don't know what it was but I was truly in a funk. Actually, I guess I've been in a funk for a couple of days. I definitely have PMS, and for you guys out there who think PMS is just an excuse for women to act badly, you are wrong. My hormones are bouncing off the walls like a kitten on catnip. I've had mood swings and cravings and fatigue like you wouldn't believe and absolutely nothing in me to fight any of it. Luckily, as I've mentioned before, I live alone - so the mood swings only affected one person - Me! Likewise, the cravings and fatigue affected only me as well. But I found myself at home last night chowing down on a bag of Salsa Sun Chips like there was no tomorrow and sort of reveling in them. Then I chased them down with two low sugar ice cream bars. I mean, I guess if I'm going to binge, at least it was with the lowest calorie chips on the grocery store shelf and with the lowest sugar dessert in the freezer, but still. By the time I went to bed I was feeling pretty bad about good ole Laura. And this morning I still felt so bad that I didn't even bother weighing myself.
I'm okay now, the PMS pendulum is swinging in an upward arch at the moment and my mood is pretty good. I'm feeling more positive than I was last night, that's for sure. But the reality is, it's time to make another major change in my life style if I"m going to see any real success on the scale and waist size. So far, I've become way more aware of what I'm putting in my mouth, which is good since before all of this I was mindlessly stuffing "food" down my throat without any memory of what I'd eaten when it was gone. I've also developed a community that is holding me accountable in my eating and behavior, so that's good too. But now I have to take the next step. It's time to develop a routine of intentional movement that gets my heart rate going and my muscles flexing. It's also time to be even more conscientious about what I'm eating. It's not enough that I'm aware. Now I actually have to have a balanced diet.
When what I really want to do is whine loudly and tell you all of the reasons why this is too hard for me and why my life is not conducive to healthy living, I will instead set a positive goal for myself. I will promise that starting tonight I will exercise until I sweat hard for at least 30 minutes for the next 3 days. After those 3 days I will set another exercise goal for myself and move on from there. *Sigh*
Why is life so hard? Why is THIS so hard for me? Why can't I just eat a normal amount of food and burn it like a normal person and not have to think about it for even one second? Why? WHY? WWWHHHHYYYYYYY?! Okay, I did whine after all. Sorry about that. I guess I needed to get that out of my system.
So, It's time to go for now. Hopefully tomorrow I will have driven way past the hormonal amusement park and I'll be able to process everything in a much more sane and rational way. DOWN with emotions and UP with reason! Down with hormones and up with celery! Gooooooo dark & leafy green veggies! Yea!
See you on the flip side!
Laura
Want to bring your tennis shoes and join me for laps around the convention center in Nashville?
ReplyDeleteYes! Yes! Yes! Email me at laurah1974@hotmail.com and we can exchange cell numbers. :)
ReplyDeleteRemember that the more you pay attention to your body the more you will notice about it! Including PMS! I write down the positive things that happen right before that week (for me it is cleaning and organizing pure OCD fashion) which, is a plus considering I don't do that the other three weeks of the month. You are hypersensitive to what your body needs and wants right now, give yourself credit -- it is happening to your cycle too! You are doing great and I commend you for all of this! My mom was "morbidly obese" and I have a new mom, with a new attitude about food and life, and she wears smaller pants than I do. It took her a long time to get there, but when she did-- it was sweet! Go Laura! Go Veggies! Woohoo!
ReplyDelete