Well, it's been a really long time since I checked in here, and a lot has happened. I gained a lot of weight, I left my job, I got a new job, I moved to a new town, I moved my parents in with me, I got a dog, I turned 40, and now I'm trying this weight loss thing again. I'm not sure If I'm going to be able to maintain this blog while I'm losing this weight because last time I got sort of overwhelmed by the idea of so many people being "in" on my process. With all of my delusions of grandeur and fantasies of being famous, the reality is that I work best in anonymity. But I also love to write. So, there's the rub. Anyway, I'm here today and I want to catch you up.
For Christmas this past year I told my family that I essentially wanted The Biggest Loser team to work with me without the soul sucking, humiliating, bulgefest of standing in my underwear on an elephant scale in front of the whole world. Basically, I wanted the dietitians, the trainers, the therapists, and the personal chefs to move into my house for a year and basically force me through the whole weight loss process. If I'd gotten so big that I could EAT a village, it was going to TAKE a village to help me get healthy again! Well, needless to say, I did not get a village for Christmas. What I did get was a commitment from my parents to support me this year as I really tried to make an effort at being a healthier, smaller human being.
When I started in January of 2014 I weighed in at 338 pounds. Last week I weighed in at 310 pounds. On top of that, my resting heart rate has gone from 90 beats per minute to 67 beats per minute, and my cholesterol and blood pressure are almost normal. I still have a long way to go, but that's a pretty good start!
However, here's the reality of my problem. My accountability partners (aka, my parents) have been out of town for the weekend and I have totally fallen off the wagon. I've had 3 huge ice cream sundaes, a bunch of potato salad, french fries, a chocolate malt (with extra malt), and some very cheesy baked spaghetti. I've also spent a total of 238 hours lying on the couch watching TV, and I've turned into a total slug. And the 'Rents have only been gone since Saturday afternoon!
The thing is, I have a food addiction. I know that. It's the whole reason I am as big as I am. And it's the reason that I need a village to help me succeed in achieving a healthy lifestyle. But one thing I've learned this year (so far), is that losing weight is a life long endeavor. It's not something I have to do in one season over the span of 15 episodes. This is my life we're talking about. It's a journey. And sometimes, like this weekend, I hit a ridiculously gigantic pothole and I have to stop to change my tire. But then I get back in the car and I keep moving forward. I told my doctor the other day that if I'm only losing one pound a month rather than gaining or staying the same then I'm doing really well. Thankfully, he agreed. So, as I sign off, I'm going to go get a big glass of ice water, get on my knees to ask God for strength to make good choices tomorrow, and NOT beat myself up for consuming over 3 times my allotted caloric intake for the last 2 days.
